Yes, yes I do, and I must say that all those friendships that I really do care about, are ones that just fall into place.  I mean the ones that stick out to me right now is being introduced to them as close friends from my exes, meeting them casually (and believing to never see them again) at events, interacting through facebook due to common interest. 

Serendipity.  A word I really haven’t used in a while, but every event seems deliberate, yet effortless in making our friendship stronger.  I mean, there are those friendships where I really try to actively push for it, because I want it, because I feel that their presence in my life would help me for the better. 

But, I realize the people who subtly creep into my life in one form or another are the ones who stayed for me and their (surprising) reciprocation to these friendships is something that I have to open myself to. These people, who I thought were only upon the backdrops of my life, are those who came to the forefront and really showed me that they want to keep the friendship as much as I would want with any friendship.  Though, it’s always a reoccurring thought to me that I need to show my appreciation for others more.  It’s so hard for me to vocalize, externalize, or even materialize my feelings and appreciation for others, because I guess I feel caught off guard that others would support me, offer to be my confidant in the first place.  They see something that I don’t see.  Or I feel that they are over exemplifying something that is so temporary and/or even a pretentious something or quality, which I originally baited them with, so that I can receive all the praise I want.  I don’t have much confidence in myself—though ironically I feel like I have a huge, unspoken ego at times—but with the help of others they encourage me and instill a confidence when necessary, but keep me grounded with the reality of it all. I need to stop overlooking them, even though I occasionally believe the illusion (I hope it is at least) that the friendship is fragile and will break at my careless mistakes.

I genuinely appreciate my friendships, and I hope that the possibilities of new ones will stay.